The ace of my heart

When the final whistle resounded, you still wanted to believe. You were watching and supporting the Karasuno VS Seijoh next to the coach and advisor on the bench, speechless. The match was intense, made your heart squeeze several times; you wanted to shout with your loudest voice when the score seemed to be desperate for your team—the boys couldn’t give up.

It couldn’t be over like this.

However, when Oikawa received the last spike hit by Hinata, the ball seemed to hit his hands in slow motion. You could actually see the ball hitting slowly Oikawa’s hands, before getting out of the court. The sound the ball made at this moment was like a bullet fired from a gun : at least, that’s what remains the most in your mind.

Some seconds are passing before the guys charged of the score changed the number of points attributed to Karasuno. Some seconds during whom your mind and your reason tried to understand and accept. You’ve seen how hard they trained. You saw them growing as a team. You looked at their smiles. You witnessed their calm, their amazing serves, steady receives and powerful spikes during their numerous trainings; you knew how much they struggled to get there. You were always here to watch over them, and you always supported them.

So why did they have to lose here ?

You had a blank look.
Your pupils were trembling.

When you look at the court, you could see the members of each teams gathering to bow to each other. Your eyes were following them; you didn’t know anymore where to look, what to say, what to think, what to do.

All of this seemed too unreal for you to believe.

When your heart finally began to accept the reality, your view became clear; but the first thing you could see was the vice-captain, the ace… your boyfriend crying. His teammates seemed to be heading over him, hitting his back, before standing up in front of the stand and bowing the audience that came to cheer on them. You applauded at the same time as the supporters, but tears were in the verge of failing from your eyes : seeing your boyfriend crying was a sight you absolutely couldn’t bear. He is strong, reliable, caring for his juniors and respectful to his elders; you never saw him crying until today.

“(name), stand up. They’re coming back and we have to tell something,” the coach ordered you.

Tell something ? You didn’t know what to tell them. You knew that the second you’d open your mouth to say something that tears would be failing; so you had nothing to tell. You stood up anyway, and the boys came back at this moment. The advisor just conveyed to them some words, and even though you were thinking about words you could convey yourself, nothing came to your mind.

Deep in your thoughts, you don’t notice that both the coach and the adviser were now staring at you. The advisor finished speaking, and they were expecting you, the manager, to ‘tell something’. The players also were all staring at you; you could see all the sadness and the regret they all had in their look; and this caused your heart to hurt even more.

You remember Hanamaki and Kindaichi telling you how they loved your smile; that your smile could “make flowers bloom”; and before knowing it, you were known to be the boys’ “victory goddess”; though you couldn’t do anything for them today; then it came like a thunder in your mind : the best way for you to convey your message in a short sentence or few words was simple…

You had to smile like usual.

Joining your two hands and intertwining your fingers, you look at them and force yourself to create a smile : “… thank you,” you managed to let out before tears fall from your eyes. You wore a warm smile—a fake one—and this was all you could do for them. As you continue sobbing, you take your hand to wipe off your tears so as the boys don’t worry for you…

But never mind that, most of them had also tears failing from their eyes from the time they received your words :
Tears of regret,
Tears of frustration,
Tears of sadness,
… and more than anything, tears of disappointment.

---

Back in the hall of the gymnasium, you had to help to load the bags onto the bus; as you start to pack the stuff into a bag, tears starts to fall again from your eyes : “Aaah… just when I managed to stop crying… geez, I’m such a crybaby…” you think as you take your hand to wipe your tears.

You return to pack again, when you sense a presence behind you. You stop and look : it was Oikawa, with his usual composed look.

“Hey. The bus is waiting. Hurry up and carry those packs to the bus. I’ll catch up with you later,” he finishes, smiling a little.

As you look at him, you can’t help but remembering the moment he received Hinata’s final spike. How could he look this calm and collected when he must be feeling the most guilty among the members ?

You nod and return to finish packing the stuff. Then you take the bag and head over the exit. Oikawa was standing still, and when you passed next to him, he called out to you :

“(name)-chan.”

You stop and look at him. His back was all you saw.

“… we should be the ones thanking you.”

You didn’t have the time to tell something back that he was already walking in the opposite direction. Closing your eyes in comfort for some seconds, a smile on your face, you quickly came back to reality and brought the stuff you packed towards the bus.

Outside, all the members seemed to be waiting. You didn’t know what to do so you just got into the bus, waiting for the boys to get in too. Oikawa came back few minutes later and you were all ready to return to the school.

There was a heavy silence in the bus. You expected them to sleep as the match was really intense, but none of them was feeling sleepy; or rather, they felt they had to stay awake to actually realize what happened. The ride began and finished like this.

After coming back to the school, some of the teachers were there to send them comfort words or such, but the boyswanted to be alone, or at least, just with their teammates so they quickly head over the gymnasium.

After a brief meeting with the coach and the advisor, all the team decided to stay so as to evacuate the frustration by spending their energy into training. As manager, you stayed with them and helped by picking up the balls. From time to time, you glanced at your boyfriend to check if he was okay : he has that usual stance, this determined look, those powerful serves, those steady receives, and he looked as usual, motivating his teammates by his loud voice, as usual; and this seemed really weird to you.

You let out a long sigh and continued to pick the balls, until the coach stated it was maybe time to take a break. You see your boyfriend heading to the locker room at this moment, alone; you decide to follow him, and find him drinking Pocari on a bench.

“Hajime-chan !” you call out.
“Eh ? Ah, it’s you (name). Though I’m thankful to you for staying with us, you shouldn’t stay this late,” he stated, continuing to drink.
“I don’t mind…” you mumble, pouting a little.
“But I do. I can’t let a girl staying this late. What if something happens to you ?”

He was always worrying for you like this over himself. When you felt depressed, when you had a fight with a friend, when you had a bad mark, when you were scolded by your parents, when something unpleasant was happening… he was always here for you.

Always comforting you,
Always patting your back,
Always lending his shoulder for you to cry, and…
Always having heartwarming words of encouragement for you.

Now it was your turn. He always had that strong posture in front of you and his teammates, but you knew he still needed someone telling him everything was okay. You knew he needed someone to lean on.

And who else than you, his girlfriend, could fit the role ?

Iwaizumi put the Pocari bottle back on the bench, and you suddenly run towards him, jumping onto him for a hug.

“Wa—(name) ?! What are—“
“It’s okay Hajime-chan ! It’s okay to let out those feelings out of your chest ! It’s okay to complain you know ?! You don’t have to force yourself anymore… I’m here… I’ll always be here for you !” you cut him, shouting in the locker room. As you said those words, you tighten your embrace. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck. You could smell the faint scent of his sweat mixed with his perfume, and also the smell of his training shirt.

“O—Okay I understand ! I understand so please let go ! It’s… it’s kind of embarrassing…” he almost murmured the last part, the cheeks a little red.
“S—sorry…” you apologize, letting go of him, “but I want to be here for you… you told me one day that lovers are meant to lean on each other when something unpleasant happens so… please ! Tell me everything you’re thinking right now, don’t let those feelings in your chest,” you almost demanded, bowing a little. You sat on the bench, waiting for an answer. Your boyfriend lowered his head, and bite his lips a second before confessing :

“I… I was just thinking I wasn’t fitted to be called ‘ace’… I mean, when Oikawa sent me the super long toss, he was counting on me, and I couldn’t even get a point with this spike… if only I got it, we could’ve win and go to nationals…”

After hearing what he has to say, you let out a big sigh, before looking at him in the eyes and speak your thoughts :

“They’re calling you ‘ace’ because you really are, Hajime-chan. Sure, it also might be because you’re wing spiker and vice-captain… but everyone in the team is respecting you, including Oikawa-kun. You’re focusing on the points you didn’t get, but did you actually looked back and realized how many points you got for the team ? How many times your spikes brought the victory to Seijoh ? I don’t know much about volleyball, but I think your last spike wasn’t a mistake. Oikawa-kun sent the toss to you because he knew you were the best person he could lean on in this situation. And yeah right, your opponents managed to connect to your spike and they won. Karasuno’s #1 was at the right spot to receive your spike; but that’s what a competition right ? There’s a winner and a loser… but it isn’t over ! As long as you are living, you can always be a winner. Sure there will be moments you’ll lose, but this is life; and you can always use these moments to make you stronger… and Hajime-chan, you are strong, that’s why it’ll be okay.”

Your boyfriend was looking at you in belief. Your words had a thundering effect on his mind. Your words were able to bring a ray of light in his dark thoughts.

“Wow… I swore to myself I’d never show you my pathetic side… seems I failed… did I seemed this depressed for you to lecture me… ?” he asked, a crisped smile on his face.
“Yes you did ! I saw you crying at the end of the match…” you confess, waving your fists and pouting.
“Wha— !! Oh my god… to know you even saw such super pathetic side… I’m the worst…” he finish, sighing.
“You’re not pathetic !! Or—rather, let’s admit you are,” you begin, watching your boyfriend having signs of irritation appearing on his face as soon as you pronounced those words, “even if you have a ‘pathetic’ side, I love it since it’s part of you,” you confess with red cheeks and a warm smile.

He looks at you with a blank look some seconds before busting into laughter : “Hahaha ! I never said I was pathetic, I just highlighted the fact you saw a pathetic side of mine; but you’re right, I might be pathetic… especially when it comes to you…”
You were weak to this sweet look he addressed you when he was saying something sounding like a love confession.

He pats your head with his warm hand, still addressing you that sweet look you loved so much, with red cheeks. “Hajime-chan is so cute…” you think, blushing at your own thought.

Iwaizumi doesn’t let you the time to say something back and then suddenly get up, put his hands on his hips, turning his back to you : “But well, it’s not like I’ll be forever Seijoh’s ace anyway… ! So yeah, I’ll always have an opportunity to be “the winner” “, he claims, before sitting back on the bench and directing his look to you.

You gulped, wanting to say the words you held in your heart for a long time… even before you confessed to him and started dating; and you believed now was the best moment to let them out of your chest. Taking a big inhalation and letting out a big sigh, you take his hand and stared at him, your eyes a little wet :

“E—Even if you quit being Seijoh’s ace… as long as I’m here, you’ll always be an ace in my eyes…” you begin, blushing like crazy.
“Eh ? What do you mean by that ?” your boyfriend inquired, curious.
“B—Because you’re… you’re the ace of my heart !” you blurted, even redder than before.

He listened to your confession the mouth wide open, unable to align coherent sentences at the moment he heard what you wanted to say to him since long time. His face was all red, and his eyes a little wet; he then suddenly hug you with force, so as you couldn’t see his face.

“Ah—crap… don’t look at my face now, I must be grinning like an idiot, and my face must be super red… my heart’s beating like crazy now… it’s all your fault you know ?! Why did you have to say such cute lines… geez…” he murmured, tightening his embrace.
“H—Hajime-chan… you’re tightening too much…”
“It’s your punishment for being this cute,” he whispered in your ear, while kissing your neck.
“W—What ?! Hajime-chan… ?! What are you doing ?! Y—You’re in middle of your training… ! You should return to the gymnasium or… Oikawa-kun’s going to worry about you !” you managed to finish, gently pushing him back.
“… ah yeah, you’re right. Geez, I wanted to spoil you more but seems it’s going to be another time. Let’s return to the gymnasium together.”

Saying those words, he holds out his arm, waiting for you to take his hand.

“Okay !” you smiled, taking his hand.

You went out of the locker room together and Oikawa was leaning back against the wall, addressing to both of you a malicious smile.

“So Iwa-chan is the ace of your heart huh, (name)-chan~ ?” he inquired bluntly.

At this moment, both of you got red faces as ripe tomatoes. You couldn’t say anything, too embarrassed to speak.

“What the hell were you eavesdropping Shittykawa ??!!” shouted Seijoh’s ace.
“Wait I didn’t ! I was just worrying about you Iwa-chan ! I asked the others and they said you were in the locker room so I just went there and then I just happen to hear your conversation… but you seemed in a good mood so I didn’t want to interrupt you ! Be thankful to Oikawa-san !” the captain claimed, the hands on his hips.
“Like hell I’d be thankful to you,” Iwaizumi responded.

“Aaaah but,” began Oikawa, ignoring his friend’s cutting remark, and faking wiping a tear on his eye, “you became a proper man Iwa-chan… you got a cute girlfriend before me, and you’re really bold… this is the Iwa-chan I raised !!” he shouted, acting like a drama queen.
“I don’t remember being raised by someone like you,” declared the ace in a curt tone.
“You’re really mean Iwa-chan,” pouted his friend, “I was just trying to cheer you up…” he added in a sudden serious tone.
“Well, thank you for the kind attention,” he almost whisper, pulling your hand for you to return to the gymnasium with him; he then put his other hand on Oikawa’s shoulder before continuing, “but I’m fine now,” he concluded, a confident smile on his face.

Back to the gymnasium, hand in hand, you see all the members waiting for both of you, a huge smile on their face. They were gathered, holding each other’s shoulder, waiting for their captain, vice-captain and beloved managed to enter the circle.

“Yo, ace ! We were waiting for you ! You too, (name) ! Hurry up !” was saying enthusiastically Hanamaki.

“Let’s go,” invited your boyfriend, before letting go of your hand and heading over his teammates.

Once gathered, and once Oikawa came back, you all formed a circle.
You all put your hands forth to gather in one point, before Oikawa shouted :

“It might be the last time I’m doing this but… Seijoh !!!”

“Fight-o !!!” you all shouted in unison, before the boys returned to their training.

Wearing your usual smile, you can’t help but think that what happened earlier was just a nightmare, and that all of you already woke up from this to move forward; hearing those energetic voices warmed your heart, and more than anything, you were glad and relieved your adorable boyfriend could smile and laugh like he always do, and claim himself that he was “fine”.

From now on, you could just believe in him and support him, as well as lending your force if needed; thanks to you, Seijoh’s ace could excel in his role…

But as your boyfriend, he was unquestionably and absolutely the ace of your heart.

---

Bonus :

Back to your home after the training ended, you were about taking a shower when you hear your phone ringing : it was a text message from Iwaizumi.

“(name).
Thank you for earlier.
I feel better thanks to you and your heartwarming words.
Take care and go to sleep early.
See you tomorrow,
Hajime.

P.S : If I’m the ace to your heart, you’re the queen to mine.
I love you. “